Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the Sigh category.
US and, life.
Just when we thought that weekends were breathers for us, it turned out the other way. We end up tired, drained, and sometimes unable to finish up piles of homework.
Just when we thought we could handle them all, of course, with God’s help, we accepted all those responsibilities. Not even half way through it, we wonder why we took them up.
Just when we thought life as a Christian ain’t a bed of roses, we never expected life to be a bed of roses, plus the thorns. We doubt, we ask in our minds why we need to care so much of our studies, when all that counts is our relationship with God.
Just when we thought of how much we cherish and appreciate our friends, we find ourselves too tired to do anything. Too lazy to ask, to lazy to start that conversation.
We have our weekends loaded with church related activities.
We go to school and come back with more homework, more chapters to read, and more events to prepare for.
Then we head for tuition, thanking God that tuition isn’t an everyday affair and start planning what we should do after tuition.
The next day in school, we wonder how come everyone else knows what’s going on, while we rush to finish our forgot-to-do homework.
At home we try to study, but sometimes we just don’t feel like it.
We tell ourselves that we really need to study, time is really running out.
We end up staring at the same first two pages for hours.
We get so irritated with ourselves; we run to our bed, bury our face in our pillow, scream and start crying.
We journal and talk to God, then eventually fall asleep.
Comes another day, we lie on our bed repeatedly saying that we don’t want to go to school.
Why go to school when teachers constantly remind us of the coming exams, when we really…. haven’t studied?
It hurts our pride, it messes our life, it gets us irritated.
There are days when all we want is just some encouragement and a ear to listen too. We get upset when no one cheers us up. We get frustrated when people care, but not to our expectation: when they tell us what we should do, when we think we’ve them all under control.
We get emotional and just feel like not doing anything.
And being emotional, really, isn’t a very nice thing.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been through all those stormy and moody seasons.
And you know what, I’m still going through that now, but a slightly different one?
But I’m still surviving.
And barely.
Once again, reminding myself, to wait on Him.
His grace, strength and strength, and strength.
His strength itself, provides all that we need; sufficient, complete.
Boat-ie.
Dry. Sand.
How do I keep sailing
When I can’t seem to see the sea?
And people asking how I’m doing
But every question still has you in
I say I’m fine
And I never think about you
But you’re always on my mind
-The Click Five: I’m Getting Over You
*Refering to a thing
I MISS YOU
Hahha. Do I sound as if I’m in love?
It’s not eros, it’s philia.
Sometimes I wonder why I hold friends so close to myself.
I hope they won’t die suffocating.
Oi, I need to let them breathe! Explore and discover!
Just that.
MISS YOU, why must distance/silence tear me down?
Just.
Let go, gurl.
I was missed out, wasn’t I?
For a week.
When I thought I was all alone.
There was something going on instead and I didn’t know.
I didn’t know.
And I missed it.
Isn’t it already too late?
I didn’t know.
I missed it.
And it’s too late.
Tom, Dick and Harry
Which Tom, Dick and Harry would say that everything is easy?
Even Tom finds it a hard time to catch Jerry…
Dick’s trying his best to accept that his name is continued with an ‘ens’…
Harry on the other hand, struggles to earn a living as a potter…
Oh well.
I guess some time or another we need to learn how to cope when:
We’re lost in a crowd of
people who can achieve better than we do.
people who can put their thoughts and ideas in a visible form.
I guess too, that we all need maps in a crowd.
—–
I don’t know why I got so nervous and panicked during Thursday’s paper, Makroekonomi. And I don’t know why the whole school is so noisy even when PMR and Lower 6 examinations are going on.
Yes, it reminds me of Puan Tan who sends a letter to each house behind Convent, asking them to tone down during PMR and SPM.
A world of difference.
I’m not complaining. I’m just informing you that there’s another world behinds your own world; a different world.
And by the way,
if TNB is a person, he would be living in Bandar Raya Elektri.
(Hope you get me. But please, don’t catch me with a butterfly net. Inter net might help instead.)
Friend.
No one likes back stabbers, liars, traitors.
What if we ourselves are one of those?
We wouldn’t realise if we ourselves are considered as such to other people.
Would we?
It hurts when someone called “Fiend” lies.
I may even say, “Hey, at least give a less obvious/better lie lah.”
It hurts when Friend puts on a façade.
I wonder, “Why can’t friend just accept and admit friend’s weaknesses and wrong doings?”
It makes me go impatient with Friend.
When I can see all of Friend’s flaws no matter how Friend tries to hide them away.
Giving Friend many chances to admit that Friend has weaknesses.
Making me feel like telling Friend straight in Friend’s face that, “No one is perfect! So why must you be so embarrassed and scared that others will think lowly of you?”
Though there are times when I feel sorry for Friend.
Trying to live up to an image Friend is not.
Trying to prove and show people how great Friend is.
Knowing that Friend will miss out a lot in life if Friend continues on like this.
With crossed fingers, I will I continue caring.
Hope has not dimmed.
Sound of .
I don’t know what to say.
How to say.
When I need to say them.
Words run out and away.
Leaving me talkative inside and speechless outside.
Silence sometimes is preferred, but if everyone isn’t silent,
then I shouldn’t?
What am I
but mere human.
I fail, disappoint, blame people around me.
I speak without the slightest inkling in my mind.
I drive not focusing, just simply in a gaze.
Is this how I entertaint myself with life?
Oh the terrible beauty of myself.
