When it was.

It’s not easy comforting someone else.

Especially when you can’t exactly picture the situation.

Sometimes you try.

But the other party doesn’t seem to appreciate it.

By the way response comes back.

But it’s just one sided opinion.

Maybe effort is more than enough.

Or the thought that counts?

Sometimes you leave even more discouraged, disappointed than the other party who initially sought for comfort.

Although not supposed to.

Optimism is hope against hope.

—–

Sorry. If I failed to.
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I was missed out, wasn’t I?

For a week.
When I thought I was all alone.
There was something going on instead and I didn’t know.

I didn’t know.

And I missed it.

Isn’t it already too late?

I didn’t know.

I missed it.

And it’s too late.

The week that ended.

Weekend.

Staying over at Granny’s.

Vocational Bible School.

Hmm…

Well, it was manageable.

I mean, have you ever felt like you suddenly hold so many responsibilities and you feel all grown up?

Like these few days, after lunch at Granny’s, I’d go home, do my stuff and head back to Granny’s for dinner and stay a night there. It seems simple, but behind it, I’ve to check and make sure that everything’s switched off (taps, sockets), everything’s locked (cars, doors, my phone) before I leave home and do my own laundry.

Saturday was quite a rush because I had to plan ahead for that day itself and Sunday, since I wouldn’t be back home till Monday after lunch.

Like what clothes I’ve to pack along including shoes, socks, remembering to bring guitar, games stuff, craft stuff.

Hm, come to think of it… why was it a rush? Quite easy-going?

But it felt nice, feeling responsible. And it felt crazy. Especially when I was driving.

Driving manual and auto cars. Both are nice.

Manual you get to imagine yourself going racing?

Auto you feel lame (no gears to change)?

If that makes sense.

Anyway.

In the midst of it all, here’s some thoughts:

1. When you hold the microphone, and call Person A out, be firm on your decision, not changing your decision by calling Person B out after calling Person A.

“You called me out first but because I’m just like a nobody, infamous compared to Person B, so you call Person B out instead? Okay. Am I that bad?”

Person A might be hurt, feel small, and invinsible.

2. Handling kids.

Sometimes the things they do makes you laugh.

But how sure are you that the things you laugh at is supposed to be laughed?

Even I myself find it hard to recognize between their misbehavior and pure funniness.

Also, it’s hard to hold laughter when you mean something and the kids do something really innocent.

Like Pris worship led during VBS and she said a prayer where the kids repeated the prayer after her.

She made a slight mistake. She said “I” but she wanted to say “we”.

So it sounded like: “……I um we…..”

And the kids follwed exactly, saying “……I um we…..”

She “Ha-ed” (laughted?) a bit, managed to hold her laughter and continued praying.

Great job in that =D

While I failed to hold back laughter nearing the end of games…

Asking them to shout out their points (5000) together and they shouted 10000 instead.

Hahha. But I feel nice (in a way) to “bully” them.

Hah.

Feeling like a cooked ie

cookie1

Smashed in between circumstances,

unable to accomplish certain things,

having to make decisions.

Sometimes expectations presses in,

sometimes ugly patches of life squeezes through,

breathing comes difficult.

We were taught not to live up to people’s expectations,

but I guess we cannot help acknowledging honestly that sometimes people’s expectations influence the decisions we make. The acts we take.

cookie2

When everything keeps piling up on life.

Struggles, deep frightening thoughts, anxieties.

Start stepping aside. Moving away from everyone.

It’s like taking a hammer and smashing them up.

Have we found the joy of eating a cookie one by one?

Have we found the joy of struggling during tough and rough times?

Yummy.

cookie3

Looking good.

Feeling positive.

Towards others.

But as always, we tend to think otherwise.

When we really get to know them.

Are we able to keep accepting flaws, weakness?

And build them up?

Regardless. Of what they’re labeled?