Today.

Wednesday September 30, 2009
Twin tragedies: Typhoon and tsunami wreak havoc
Typhoon Ketsana extended its deadly path across South-East Asia, killing 298 people and with the death toll expected to rise. Meanwhile, a powerful Pacific Ocean earthquake spawned towering tsunami waves that swept ashore on Samoa and American Samoa, flooding and flattening villages, killing at least 82 people and leaving dozens missing.

Dua andaian:
The first sentence is referring to myself.
The second sentence is referring to victims of natural disasters.

Today, I lied on my bed covered with a blanket, warm.
Today, I lied on a piece of cloth laid on the floor, shivering.

Today, I cried over my terrible trial results.
Today, I cried over the bodies of my loved ones.

Today, I wondered about my future education.
Today, I wondered about how I’m going to be a sole bread winner.

Today, I worried about my coming exams.
Today, I worried about my coming needs: my house, money, food.

Today, I asked for a ten ringgit note.
Today, I asked for a living child.

Today, I held my books in my hands as I walked to school.
Today, I held my deceased child in my hands as I walked to take refuge.

Today, yesterday and tomorrow,
He holds, held and will hold His children in His hands,
as we walk in the Light.

Two things:
When I hear of the troubles they face, my own troubles become minimized. Yet, we both struggle for survival in this world, in this life.

We both live in a world of difference. Yet, we have the same Father.

Two reasons to why this post:
My heart, goes out to them who suffered much lost.
My heart, goes out to my results who suffered much lost.

I’m feeling really lousy.

And I’ve every reason to be angry at this whole world.

A cute baby was born.

All babies are cute. No one is not born cute.
E.g. Every baby you come across is cute.

~Mummy.

Well, like it or not, I’m still alive, livin’ and kickin’ after nineteen years since 1990.

Hahha.

Yesterday on my way home from dinner with my parents, we got into a pretty interesting discussion about life. The things they said encouraged me, and I found myself affirmed.

It got me thinking…

Nineteen years of living, I think the greatest gift I’ve had in this nineteen years are my parents. Not only my parents, but their love.

Not only their love for me, but their love for God, each other and the people around them.

Because of their love for God and each other,

I was born out of purity, and not out of the wedlock.

I was held in their hands as a baby, and not sold to be in the hands of someone else.

I slept in a nice comfty place, and not left crying beside a rubbish dump, or somewhere in a dark alley.

I know both my biological parents, and not a third party.

I was raised by both my parents, and not single handedly.

I have both the love of my parents, and not abuse, or rape.

I have a loving family, and not a plate-throwing family, or a broken family.

My parents’ love, once again, is simply the greatest gift to me, when the world has much of its evil, immorality and ungodliness.

But, I don’t mind if they give me a digital single reflex camera.

Hahahaha.

On second thoughts…

Looks like we’re linking each other’s blog posts huh. Hahha. Funny.
But well, yeah.
Based on John Lim, Joel Yap and my posts on school and the persons involved, it got me thinking a few weeks back.

We all know (I expect) that teachers play a prominent role in the first fourth of our lives (based on average human lifespan).

Besides our parents, they come in second. We look to them with people of authority, we look to them with respect. They are our role models, our guide, our inspiration, our motivation.

We also know that like any other human, they have failed, will fail, and are failing us. We have high expectations of them, or at least, some expectations that is enough for us to feel disappointed with them at some point.

We acknowledge that. But at the same time, we know that playing their role well as an educator isn’t something too much to ask for. After all, they chose this job, and they are paid to do a good job.

My Dad, who is a secondary school teacher, once asked, “What do students want from their teachers?”

The answer for me, is simply… That.

And when they fail to fulfil their role as an educator, what do some of us do?

We get irritated, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes, heart broken. We voice out, but our peers just don’t seem to bother. We wonder if sanity still exists in this generation.

We cry out, but not many hears us. We wonder if we are the minority who cares. Sometimes when we lay our head, we wonder why on earth we care so much. Why do we bother the fuss. Why take it so… seriously? And, does it really matter?

At least, I go through these series of thoughts and wonders.

Like Joel and John, I seek to speak out for what is right and just.

At the same time, I’m Muffled.
So much to say, but so little that makes sense.

Speaking out, creates awareness. And then? What next?

If there’s so much to say, but yet nothing done, have I failed?

If I have seen, felt, experienced, heard the injustice and wrongs… Why not I become a teacher?

If I know how a role of a teacher should be played… Why not I become a teacher?

If I want to impact and influence lives, and change the perspective of students towards education, the school and teachers… Why not I become a teacher?

If I say it’s about calling, then why do I care so much for what’s happening in school?

If I say it’s about calling, then are we questioning the call God gave all of us as salt and light of the world?

Do I dare to make a difference?

Do I dare to choose to be a teacher?

That at the end of the day, at least, I know I did something to save some lives of the future generation?

Honestly, I’m struggling within my thoughts.

Because part of me does not dare to choose to be a teacher.

Part of me is greatly discouraged to not be a teacher because of my teacher’s flaws.

Part of me is fear what kind of teacher I will turn out to be.

The future. Is uncertain.

And lives are at stake.

But right now, I know I need to do something more than just speaking out.

The search goes on.

And you, my comrade?

One most common tendency

during exams is to check out songs I’ve never heard before.

And they’re pretty cool.. the lyrics, or even the meaning behind it.

Do check them out! =D

Flipsyde – No More
[Verse 1]
From the womb to the world from the world to the grave from the grave to the heavens and my spirit
From the liquor to the drugs to the police and the thugs to my prayers and hope that he hears it
Little kids in the street Never sleep never eat Carry burdens of their mommas’ and the papas’ To the
hell on this Earth Gettin’ hot gettin’ worse Cause were cursed nobody can stop us
Take a look see the sights that I’ve seen See the lust see the greed jealousy and killin’
Walk the walk that I’ve walked All alone in the dark overtaken by this feelin’ that I’m feelin’ Touch
the hand that I’ve touched In the night what a rush turning blue so could and breathless See the bars
and the chains on your wrist on your brain Feel the pain of a grown man’s death wish

[Chorus]
Is this all there is cause I don’t want it no more (x3)

[Verse 2]
That’s right little mama just keep on walkin’ to school
Don’t stop and talk to them fools Tryin’ to holla while they sippin’ on brew Cause you’re gonna lose
Got to stay focused keep your mind on your dreams
Don’t get hypnotized by the bling deep inside you must believe and you’ll succeed
Cause all we’re given is a chance They play the music and we dance And ain’t no way to make it last if we
don’t stop and listen
It could be over in a flash When you killin’ for that cash Flip an Apache and blast ’em with Tomahawk
missiles
Moqtada al Sadr Bin Laden Al Qaeda They all multiplyin’ and hidin’ and George can’t find ’em
And even if he did and killed them then another would come
We makin’ enemies faster than we could pick up a gun

[Chorus]
Is this all there is cause I don’t want it no more (x3)

[Verse 3]
From my soul to my heart From the ending to the start In between it’s an art and I live it From one
person to the next All respect no regrets If you next you got it then give it
Share a hug share the love we can rise up above If we try we can fly up to the heavens
All my brothers and my sisters we can make it if we listen to each other and just keep on

[Chorus]
Is this all there is cause I don’t want it no more (x3)
And I can see this change comin’ (x2)

Hujan – Mencari Konklusi
Belum tersimpul mati
Ikatan itu ku buka sendiri
Terus bertempiaran
Jutaan huraian
Ku takkan mengerti

Teka silang kata
Membuat parah menambah persoalannya
Aku tak pasti yang kita hadapi
Yang kita semua cari

Coba tenang seketika
Coba pejam mata
Biar resah hilang saja
Dan coba diam yang bicara
Sediam bersama
Ditemani jasad kita

Kan ku cari konklusi