On second thoughts…

Looks like we’re linking each other’s blog posts huh. Hahha. Funny.
But well, yeah.
Based on John Lim, Joel Yap and my posts on school and the persons involved, it got me thinking a few weeks back.

We all know (I expect) that teachers play a prominent role in the first fourth of our lives (based on average human lifespan).

Besides our parents, they come in second. We look to them with people of authority, we look to them with respect. They are our role models, our guide, our inspiration, our motivation.

We also know that like any other human, they have failed, will fail, and are failing us. We have high expectations of them, or at least, some expectations that is enough for us to feel disappointed with them at some point.

We acknowledge that. But at the same time, we know that playing their role well as an educator isn’t something too much to ask for. After all, they chose this job, and they are paid to do a good job.

My Dad, who is a secondary school teacher, once asked, “What do students want from their teachers?”

The answer for me, is simply… That.

And when they fail to fulfil their role as an educator, what do some of us do?

We get irritated, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes, heart broken. We voice out, but our peers just don’t seem to bother. We wonder if sanity still exists in this generation.

We cry out, but not many hears us. We wonder if we are the minority who cares. Sometimes when we lay our head, we wonder why on earth we care so much. Why do we bother the fuss. Why take it so… seriously? And, does it really matter?

At least, I go through these series of thoughts and wonders.

Like Joel and John, I seek to speak out for what is right and just.

At the same time, I’m Muffled.
So much to say, but so little that makes sense.

Speaking out, creates awareness. And then? What next?

If there’s so much to say, but yet nothing done, have I failed?

If I have seen, felt, experienced, heard the injustice and wrongs… Why not I become a teacher?

If I know how a role of a teacher should be played… Why not I become a teacher?

If I want to impact and influence lives, and change the perspective of students towards education, the school and teachers… Why not I become a teacher?

If I say it’s about calling, then why do I care so much for what’s happening in school?

If I say it’s about calling, then are we questioning the call God gave all of us as salt and light of the world?

Do I dare to make a difference?

Do I dare to choose to be a teacher?

That at the end of the day, at least, I know I did something to save some lives of the future generation?

Honestly, I’m struggling within my thoughts.

Because part of me does not dare to choose to be a teacher.

Part of me is greatly discouraged to not be a teacher because of my teacher’s flaws.

Part of me is fear what kind of teacher I will turn out to be.

The future. Is uncertain.

And lives are at stake.

But right now, I know I need to do something more than just speaking out.

The search goes on.

And you, my comrade?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. d
    Sep 11, 2009 @ 23:06:54

    To be or not to be? It’s always a struggle within each of us. It’s part of growing up and going on a journey in life.
    Well, teachers come in all shapes and sizes. Some shapes are odd and some sizes just don’t fit. However, there are others who have made a positive impact on our lives. I’m grateful for them.
    Speaking as a teacher, I know I’m not a perfect role model to the many students whom I’ve taught over a period of 30 years. I made mistakes, I misjudged, I over-reacted and I failed to act justly and wisely at times. Nevertheless I always try to be a responsible, helpful and caring teacher. I try to teach well / effectively because I’m paid to do it and I want to be good teacher. I believe by doing that I will have some positive impact on the students. Most of them may have forgotten as they move on in their lives.
    Let not your disappointments / frustration determine your vocation. Search your heart. Do you really want to be a teacher? Other professions can impact lives too. Disappointments come and go. As you move on in life, listen to your heart and ponder what you want to do with your life.
    What a long comment. HAHA.

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