Because.

Is there a wound?
Is there a cure?

Is there a cut?
Is there a healing touch?

I’m wondering.
Thinking.
Did my sorry mean anything?
You’re not telling me.
Everything to you seems fine.

But something is just not right.

—–
It’s been emo week, hahha.
Or maybe, just been doing lots of thinkin’?
Here goes something else.
—–

A heart beat.
Felt.
You fell.

Did I fall?

It doesn’t hurt,
but I can see it bleed.

Red. Scarlet.

How we’re grown.

A p a r t .

—–

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Facing Reality?

After two long busy tiring days at work… finally!

After weeks and days of waiting for tawaran JPA… finally!

Finally.

I’m done with work. I so darn miss it already! (oh, it’s like just 1 hour and 45 minutes since I left work!) It was fun though! Last two days of work. Being busy… I mean, I actually like it loh! Fellow workers my age going to Form 6 will still be working! One during the week. Two during the weekend. It’s not fair! How can I work during the weekends when I have YF and church??! =(

I’m done with JPA? I guess so. Might be appealing again. Yes, I didn’t get it.

Tomorrow.. today, in fact, I’m heading to SMKTHO. Oh my. School. They (Barney’s people) were all teasing me going back to school! Not being able to wake up! Buying my school shoes like just yesterday (Sunday)?! So last minute loh!

Trademarks of Tien Hui. Doing every important preparation last minute! It’s a super duper bad habit of mine!

Okies. I need to sleep. I need to wake up early. Hahha! That’s like… been ages!

Photos at work will be up… soon!

All I want…

…is to be with YOU.

 

YOU = Two different people…
I really MISS
I wanna hang out with…

 

SO DESPERATELY!

 

until my mind just can’t stop thinking of YOU.

 

 

Urgh!

friends = communtication = language

At times I just quietly move aside and feel agitated.

Simply because I don’t understand them.

Ever since Form One I sat and mixed with Chinese speaking people in class. Hanged out with them on weekends. In Form Four I had a different group of Chinese speaking friends ’cause I went to arts stream.

My Chinese has improved a lot. But I still lack a lot lot more. Hahha.

Each time they talk about stuff concerning school matters, problems, their feelings, I always need translation. That’s because they speak so fast (for me) and I end up not getting them.

And I can say that most of the time my friends are tried of translating for me… who wouldn’t be?!

I feel totally helpless when I can’t get to help them. When I can’t fight for justice. And all I do is see them hate the school more because of injustice done. All I do is just watch them being falsely accused and hear insulting insults which would effect anyone deeply.

Not to say that I put all the blame on myself. It is because I know I have the ability to speak out, ablity to enable the school to listen because I am a “smart” student in a “dumb” class.

Everyone listens to “smart” students nowadays. Everyone closes one eye when they see “smart” students. What do “smart” students know anyway? They are protected by “smart” teachers.

(I’m speaking in terms of how “dumb” students feel each time, which is every single time. How “dumb” students so hate “smart” students when it comes to displine.)

I doubt anyone reading this will ever understand how it sucks to be seeing “dumb” people suffer while “smart” ones get away. How teachers whole appearance and face gesture changes from meeting “smart” to “dumb” students; from angels to devils.

For now, only one teacher I know who fights for “dumb” students.

Thanks goodness for “Buffalo”!

How much?

My heart hurts.

So much until my eyes are tired of crying.

I’m letting go, for His name sake.

I now know how hard it is – sacrifice.

So many things can happen in a day!

not a g a i n .

Looks like we’ve to do the school magazine again, but not exactly the whole thing. See, we used the A4 size margins on Publisher. Boon Hwa will be printing our magazine with the size of 10.25″ by 7.25″ which is smaller than A4 size. So we’ll have to resize everything. And it’s just so sensitive! Move one thing, the other gets affected and the photos might turn out blur when printed (resize too much). If that’s the case then, we’ll have to change the photos too! Insert, resize, put them in black and white. Oh yeah, we’ll have to set all the photo resolutions to 150 for black and white and 600 for colour. I think that’s correct, ’cause I lost the paper I wrote down those stuff. Which really helps me in my craziness now.

Driving me crazy. Knowing that there’s four more weeks to school holidays, one week full of camp (9-12 ESPlosion, 14-18 RYLA). And books? Haven’t laid a finger on them!

Just don’t want to do it again. I mean, it felt so good when we handed in the magazine, a burden lifted off. Now we start wondering: How come Jeanette’s year they had the right size? How come we don’t know about the right size one leh? Teacher also dunno one..

Sharing Day

Never heard of this?

It’s special. I have bever felt so close before.

Basically it is ‘Anugerah Cemerlang’ and a farewell for all Form Fives.

I did not expect to tear, but half way when they were singing,

thinking that I will not be able to see them anymore,

thinking of how I will face next year,

thinking of all the times we share,

I’m sad.

I only get to know them this year!

Tears, tears.

It shows much.

How precious they are to me, to us.

It shows how much they have contributed,

how much they helped.

“Form Five, we love you!”

The shout from the Form Four’s after they sang (last minute idea).

We truly will miss you dears.