So near, yet so far.

My Thunderbird on the back streets of Jeddah

My Thunderbird on the back streets of Jeddah

This is a photo posted on my uncle’s Facebook.
This Australian uncle of mine, is in the advertising industry.
Used to work in KL, under a company which did advertisments for Sony.
After some time, he quit and worked in Saudi Arabia.
If not mistaken, he started an advertising firm there with a few others.

Few years back, I found some of his paper work for the advertisements he did (so super cool!), in my Granny’s house back in Kulai.
And that made me consider going into this industry.

Well, he’s now into photography (, and he did an exhibition on his works in Australia.

So cool right!
The car he owns shows much. And I actually find his car nice? Hahha.
But sad thing is, I don’t know him (aside the fact that he is my uncle..)
He comes back to Malaysia even now and then, but doesn’t visit us.
The last time I saw him was when I was a kid, 3-4 years old?

So near, yet so far.
It would be nice, fun, cool, interesting if I really know him…


1 Petrus 4: 7-11

4:7 Kesudahan segala sesuatu sudah dekat. Karena itu kuasailah dirimu dan jadilah tenang, supaya kamu dapat berdoa.

The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.

4:8 Tetapi yang terutama: kasihilah sungguh-sungguh seorang akan yang lain, sebab kasih menutupi banyak sekali dosa.

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

4:9 Berilah tumpangan seorang akan yang lain dengan tidak bersungut-sungut.

Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay.

4:10 Layanilah seorang akan yang lain, sesuai dengan karunia yang telah diperoleh tiap-tiap orang sebagai pengurus yang baik dari kasih karunia Allah.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.

4:11 Jika ada orang yang berbicara, baiklah ia berbicara sebagai orang yang menyampaikan firman Allah; jika ada orang yang melayani, baiklah ia melakukannya dengan kekuatan yang dianugerahkan Allah, supaya Allah dimuliakan dalam segala sesuatu karena Yesus Kristus. Ialah yang empunya kemuliaan dan kuasa sampai selama-lamanya! Amin.

Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

This few verses have been keeping me through the week of prolonged days.

After years of having to balance out time between school activities, studying, church activities, and other miscellaneous stuff, I honestly sincerely still struggle with it.

Although the struggle may be the same, but how I go through that struggle is always different.

At this stage, I feel like giving up. My books are of same number, but the pages unrevised keep increasing. So does the number of question marks coming out from my head, evaporating into thin air.

It’s mid February, common test will be in a month’s time. I know there is not to be any of “sports season” or that sort in my self reasoning to not study.
(I know it’s just a common test. How ever common it may be to you, it is common uncommon to me.)

At the same time, I’m trying to make it a habit to remember the day’s Scripture/quiet time portion and be able to share what I have learn throughout the week.

Well, I am quite intrigued actually. I sing of how I cannot live without God. At the end of the week, if someone asks’ me what I have learn this week, am I able to tell the person?

Yes, I learn and understand from my daily quiet time. If I fail to answer him, does that show of how much I can live without Him, or how much I cannot live without Him? Isn’t there more to, than just that? (E.g. Meditating on His Word, speaking to Him each second of the day.)

On the other side if the week, it was rather filled with much joy, gladness and thankfulness.

Starting off with my long jump, much appreciation to Xue Qi, I managed to jump a distance of 4.3 m and was first. Woohoo! Surprised I am, as it was my first time participating for the long jump event. Um. So… MSSD, here I come! Hahha!

Then came Sunday (yesterday). I managed to keep four kids occupied during the message! Although it was quite a lot to handle: Giving one words to write repeatedly (he can only speak Tamil), the other, translating the message into Malay (for an Indian girl), then Chinese (for a Chinese boy) and while doing so, “playing” with a kindergarten boy without any noise.

I can multi task.


Is it even an AGM?

“Kamu semua rumah ape?”
“Skali lagiiii…”
“Ape? Tak dengar lah… Rumah ape?”
”Ah, barulah betol..”

Today we had our house AGM at 8 am. We walked down to the canteen, found a place to sit. Waited for the others to arrive. Few minutes later, a male teacher who was my former MUET teacher (who also, hasn’t returned last year’s MUET end year exam paper) greeted all of us, OMEGA-ians.

Then the head teacher of OMEGA said a few words. The most disturbing thing was happening at the same time. Two Form 6 Malay girls were standing in front beside a lady teacher, one of them holding a pen and a paper, pointing towards other students and then writing on the paper.

“Don’t tell me those two in front are going to be the house captain..”
“Huh? Teacher straight away choose?”
“No lah, I don’t think so.”
“Maybe they are suggested candidates and we can add on.”

Not having an inkling of what they were exactly doing, my group of friends and I feared the worst and hoped the most. After much talk, my former MUET teacher suddenly pointed towards me. He asked me to come to the front. I did and wrote my name on the paper, beside this: AJK Tingkatan 6.

While writing my name, I took a glimpse of what was already written on it. Above were the list of the other committee members, starting from the house captain.

As soon as I got back to my place, I told them the news. We were all shocked. Yes, our greatest fear became our nightmare. The two girls standing in front are the house captain and assistant. And the rest of the committee were Malays. I was the only Chinese. Or let’s say, non-Muslim.

Back in class, I asked other mates how their house AGM was conducted. It was almost the same.

It disturbs me. It did disturb me the rest of the day in school.

Why can’t we choose our own candidates and vote? How can the teacher select the head? And allow the head to choose her own committee? If not for my formal MUET teacher, would it be reined with Malays? Why can’t they let athletes lead the house? Even if they want to select their own, why can’t they at least check out past records of the Form 6 students, see if they are athletes? Still, where is the liberty of voting? Why must they be control freaks?

What is wrong with this school?

Oh yes. I remember the principal telling us during assembly on Monday, that as a student of SMK TUN HUSSEIN ONN, we MUST be proud and glad and joyful and thankful that we are offered to study in this school called SEKOLAH SUKAN. Oh, wonderful I tell you! Amazing! I’m overjoyed!

By the way, it’s not that I am a racist. I’m just overly discouraged to see how the school teachers get things done. And if ever the issue of racial harmony is brought up during assembly, all that is said is redundant and they do not have the slightest idea of what they are doing.

and a year ahead.

There’s a reason.
A reason.
That holds it all back.
But is there one to not miss you?

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:1-3

biarlah ku rela
melepasmu,meninggalkan aku..
berikanlah aku kekuatan utk lupakanmu….

Nidji – Biarlah

Untuk lagu dan lirik penuh, klik SINI


Some moments i just  wish it could last forever

and some moments i just wish it could end right then.

Wanting forever, it ends like snapping my finger

wanting endings, it prolongs.

Would I find an end, like how one suffocates to death?

Is it unknown to keep doing and being and loose one’s self?

To pretend not knowing that what you feel isn’t real at all?

To imagine tears but not actually crying?

I want everything to stop.

I want to hold up “BERHENTI” signs all over my life and right in front of people’s faces.

Please stop.

Please stop me from stopping?

Two Weeks of School.

One week of orientation.
The other week of scoldings.

Orientation week was fun! I enjoyed it.
Besides listening to all those talks given, we did group activities everyday.
We even got to sit in an air-conditioned hall!

Though we had to wear those big manila-card-tied-with-raffia-string name tags around our necks the whole week through, it didn’t matter to me, but it mattered to some of my friends… Which I found it a bit irritating when they kept complaining about that tag! Hah.

We did group persembahan, my group did an Indian dance. Simple one lah. We got number 6 or 7 (out of 12 groups), but we could have got top 5, if we wore outside clothes. I mean, the dance was in a classroom scene, so we just wore school uniform and seledang to perform. We scored highest for kerjasama kumpulan and zero for pakaian.

Other than that… we created our group name, motto, logo, group tepukan and lagu.

Left down to right down: Amirul Ariffin (leader), Bao Ching (was laughing cos she heard the Chicken Dance music), Renuka, Sheila, Hazirah, Me, Pathma, Shazereen.

Name: Dream Team (Amirul’s idea)

Motto: The more we dream, the better we are (My idea, but I was actually joking when I gave that idea. Hahha!)

Logo: (My idea too)

Tepukan: (Shazereen’s idea + NS influence)

Lagu: (Joined effort)

Dad keep saying, “Pre-U already still do this kind of things ah…” Hahha. Sheila and I even went to Amirul’s house in Sunrise Park to finish up the logo together! But too bad we didn’t win anything. There was only one prize anyway. Haha.

Second week was freaky and ridiculous!

Hari Selasa aku kena tegur oleh cikgu dua kali! Kali pertama waktu rehat. Guru kelas suruh saya hantarkan senarai nama pelajar lelaki dan perempuan bila semua dah habis tulis nama kat kertas. Jadi waktu rehat saya ngn member pegila cari mane bilik guru. First kita pgi pejabat tanya mne bilik guru. Kerani kat sane pun tau kita 6 Bawah baru masok, tpi muka pun muram btul! Dhlah x bg direction yg jelas. Hanye ckp, pegi tgok blok sane. Blok sane blok mane?! Wahhliaooehh…

Okay. Bila dah hampir kat bilik guru, 2 org guru keluar. Kita smua tgah mkn. Saya jln last skali. Guru pertama lalu kita saje. Guru kedua tegur sy! Die tanye, “Haiwan mane yg mkn sambil jln?” Aku terkejut! Mane ade guru tiba-tiba tanye mcm tu? Sy senyap je la, kata xtau. Guru tu kata, “Ayam kn, ayam saje yg mkn sambil jln…” Lepas die ckp ngn saya, die terus jln saje.. Entahle knape… Mkn sambil jln pun salah ke? Mane ade peraturan sek mcm tu? Ishh…

Lepas rehat kat dewan, guru kaunseling panggil smua ketua kump sb nk berikn tajuk-tajuk pidato. Masa tu ade 2 org guru lain kat dewan. Smua ketua kump kat depan catatkn tajuk… sambil menunggu ketua kump, kita smua pun cakap la… Then seorg guru ambik mike, suruh kita cakap slow skit.. Tapi smua pun wt bodoh xdgr… sambung wt bising.

Tiba-tiba guru tu dtg ke arah sy… ingatkn die nak lalu je… tapi die tanye aku kuat-kuat, “What are you talking about? Is it so important that you need to speak so loudly?” Pd hal masa tu member tgh tanye knape harga kiddy set kat Barney’s mahal sgt… Xtau nak jawab cikgu tu ke x… Xkan nk bg tau sy tgh ckp psl Barney’s.. pelik.. Tapi die mcm tunggu je jwpn sye… So sy jwb je la, “I was talking about Barney’s.” Muka die pun mcm xtau pe tu Barney’s. Hahha..

Die mula la kata, “I was watching you since just now and you just can’t stop talking.. Do you need to talk so loud… (dah lupe die kata pe lg)” Masa tu aku fikir, ade ke sy ckp x henti-henti? Ade ke sy ckp kuat sgt? Klau kuat pasti de org yg kn senyapkn ku ni… Bukannye ku ckp kuat sgt sampai die kt depan tu blh dgr… Atau.. mungkin reaksi aku tu besar, jd nmpak ku tgh ckp kuat-kuat…

Malu btul! Smua org masa tu tgok ku! Best la klau jd penontonnye… Haihh… Dewan senyap je… Hanya blh dgr suara guru tu ngn aku! Smua ahli kump ku yg duduk tepi-tepi ku pun kata sy x ckp kuat-kuat! Fed up btul la!

Hari Khamis pulak, kita org kena marah sb msk kelas dulu sblm lagu Negaraku dimainkn dan doa dibacakn. Dahla tingkat 4 xdpt dgr ape-ape sb xde speaker. Pengumuman smua hari-hari sblmnye pun xdpt dgr sb smua org kat luar bising je. De hari yg kita dgr lagu, de plk hari yg xdgr langsung.

Smua 6 Bawah kena turun ke pentas kat carpark dan nyanyi lagu Negaraku. Tiba-tiba guru yg marah pun kata kuat-kuat, “Hey girl, why are you talking? Convent didn’t teach you manners is it?”. Pd hal, bukannye bdak Convent yg ckp! Entah bdak sek mane… Pe ah!!

Yes, I don’t like people insulting my alma mater!

Anyways, here’s some photos of school:

In the hall…

Keat Kang with the name tag during recess.

Persembahan Kumpulan

Group that won first place.

Group that won second place.

We had a simple jamuan during recess.

Teacher’s Day. Sitting by the cover walkway.

Teacher’s performing as a band. Not bad lah.

By the way, that’s Encik Selamat, who was our SPM Ketua Pengawas.

Lee Tian Woon, Ketua Pengawas.

Hahha. Sorry, no decent photo of him.

Well, this photo actually proves that he’s doing his job =P

He knows me ‘cos “all” the teachers say that his inversed name reminds them of a good student named Woon Tien Li. Haha. And fortunately or unfortunately, I am her sister.

Zarena and I

Zarena, Faten, Nellie

Group presentation

SMS-ing =P

Phrase/Line of the two weeks:

S.M.K.T.H.O… teguh megah sekolah kami…

Besides being tegur-ed, I’m finally enjoying my freedom from “discipline”.

Yes, I’m actually enjoying it.

After two long suffering years.



If someone from the opposite sex tells you:

“I miss you.”

“I love you.”

“I’ll think about you.”

“I’ll see you in my dreams.”

” *hugs* ”

Your parents would probably mind that, if they heard it.

I wouldn’t. But, depending on the closeness and of course, when you know the person well enough, you’ll know what it means.

It’s scary to hear some stranger saying that, right?

It’s nice to know that someone loves you when you go to sleep at night. Not just been loved by my girl friends, but also my gay guy friends. Hahha

All Star United: You You You (Yeah Yeah Yeah)

Out of the atmosphere, into the stratosphere
Over the milky way, into the new frontier
You take me to a place I’ve never been before
You turn my everyday into the evermore
All you do makes me feel alive
Like I’m flying through
Starry skies, multiplied over and over again, a million times
You you you yeah yeah yeah
This is turning into the best day that I’ve had
Love is a limousine, Love
is a trampoline
Love is a key to the club
on the mezzanine
You make me feel in ways I’ve never felt before
I wanna be with you now and forevermore
Only you make me feel alive
Feels like something new
Starry-eyed, worlds collide, over and over again, everytime
Into the ocean
Over the edge again
Into the atmosphere
Out where dreams begin

Have been listening to:

Desperation Band: Who You Are
All Star United: Love and Radiation

Previous Older Entries